Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Citi drops gun policy after Trump slammed banks for discriminating against conservatives - New York Post

I can count

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I see through liars

Judge bars Trump administration from deporting family of Boulder attack suspect - The Washington Post

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Time (physics): Who started counting our current time or is it just "set" by some scientific measure?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why are daughters mean to their mothers?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What do you think of the controls that will be set up over information flows at Taiwan's Ministry of Foreign Affairs' missions?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy bullshit

Geologists Just Cracked Open a 500-Million-Year Mystery in the Grand Canyon — What They Found Is Rewriting Earth’s History - Indian Defence Review

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

What the ‘Revenge Tax’ Is in the Tax Bill—and How It Could Pummel the Dollar - Barron's

I can read

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Is it socially acceptable for individuals to wear clothing typically associated with the opposite gender? What are some reasons for or against this practice?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Disney lays off hundreds of employees across film, TV and other units - CBS News

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Trump administration eyes stripping Columbia's accreditation - BBC

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fakery

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability